The Season of Suck.
”…in this world you will have trouble…” is our reminder from John 16 that life isn’t always easy. Sometimes it’s a sucky moment, like the frustration from dealing with an automated system on the phone. Sometimes it’s a sucky day, like when your car breaks down on a road trip in the middle of nowhere. And sometimes? It’s a season of suck.
For some, the holiday season is their season of suck. While other people associate it with decorating and gathering with family, all you can think of in November and December is past hurt. Maybe the birthday or anniversary of a loved one that passed away is your season of suck. Every year, it’s a bittersweet reminder of both the times you shared celebrating and that there won’t be another chance to celebrate together (until you meet again). On this journey through infertility, the start of a new cycle is my season of suck. It’s hard both physically (for obvious reasons) and emotionally. It starts with the hardest 2 weeks known to man. You become a super sleuth, analyzing your body for even the slightest hint of change. You let yourself daydream about how you’ll tell everyone the good news. And then? The letdown. The monthly reminder that your body has failed yet again to do the thing it’s supposed to do.
The good news is that when seasons of suck are cyclical, we can see them coming. So why not plan accordingly with a season of suck hobby? “A…hobby, Crystal?” you ask skeptically. Yes, a hobby! A season of suck hobby, specifically designated to help you through the season. It might sound silly, but it’s a great tool for perspective shift. Instead of focusing on the negative feelings associated with the season, it gives you something to look forward to during that time.
Here are 3 tips for choosing your SoS hobby:
- Choose something you’ll actually want to do during your season of suck. You know yourself and your mental, emotional, and physical state during your hard times. Don’t choose something you won’t want to do.
- Choose something inexpensive . Please don’t go into debt for this hobby. You want it to be something that’ll uplift you, not drain you.
- Choose something that can be reserved only for your season of suck. Don’t choose something that you do regularly. The idea behind only doing this hobby during your season of suck is that you have something to look forward to. If you do it all the time, it won’t be special.
My season of suck hobby is jigsaw puzzles. I enjoy puzzling, and it checks the three boxes listed above. Initially, when I was deciding on a hobby, I thought I’d choose something like hiking in a nearby state park. BUT, when my pelvis feels like someone is attacking it with a meat tenderizer, being physically active is the last thing I want to do. The only thing that sounds good at that point is me in my blanket hoodie with a heating pad, eating snacks and puzzling with a hallmark movie going.
In an effort to be frugal, I hit up thrift stores and find puzzles for $2-$3. Sometimes, I score and find unopened puzzles. Other times, I’m in the store like, *shake, shake* “Does this feel like 500 pieces?”
If you don’t follow any of my suggestions for choosing a hobby, I’d challenge you to at least stick to reserving it for your season of suck. There’s just something about having to wait to do something that you enjoy that just makes it that much more rewarding.
Let’s be completely transparent here. A season of suck hobby doesn’t magically erase the hurt the season brings. There are months where I let myself get a little too comfortable with daydreaming and I have to deal with some major elbow and knee scrapes after falling back to reality. But it does help ease the pain. Before, I would dread the start of a new cycle because of the feelings of failure that came with it. Now, it’s a little easier to get through each month because I have something else to look forward to.
Above all, there’s more to that John reference I mentioned earlier. More important than hobbies and good feelings, the rest of that verse is a reminder that should fill us with confidence and hope in our season of suck: Jesus has already overcome the world and all its difficulties…for us.
